Hit Girl One-Shot

The following script was submitted to the 2015 Millarworld Annual contest. Didn't make the cut, but I'm happy to present it as portfolio work. All characters in the Kick-Ass series, including Hit Girl, are owned by Mark Millar.

As always, I am open to constructive feedback.

WARNING: Due to the nature of the Kick-Ass franchise, the content has violence and profane language.

Hit Girl: Fantasy Conditioning


1/ Establishing shot of Mindy, Marcus, and Mindy’s mom holding hands, walking through a gentrifying part of NYC. Here’s an idea of what the neighborhood might look like: some buildings are a bit shabby, some are newly renovated and gleaming, some are under construction. There’s a bodega with bullet-proof glass and a locked night window. Some Black and Hispanic kids are chilling on their stoop. Then there are some White hipsters (maybe a token Asian hipster) hanging outside the only coffee shop on the block. It’s clear that there’s tension between neighbors, new and old, racially and socioeconomically. Mindy has a tight smile on her face. She’s trying her best to be chipper around her mom. In the foreground is an ice-cream truck.

MINDY (caption)
Is there a difference?


2/ The family is in front of the ice cream truck. Mom has already gotten a cone. Marcus holds a cup of soft serve. Both adults wait as Mindy stands on her tiptoes to ask for an ice pop. Mindy has a more relaxed/genuine smile here.

MINDY (caption)
And can you suppress it?

Can I get the Coconut Cat?

3/ The family continues to walk. Mindy has bit off the ear of her ice pop, which is shaped like a Hello Kitty head (she’s bitten off the ear that doesn’t have the bow). The ice cream truck is now pretty far in the background. The adults are halfway through their ice creams.

MINDY (caption)
I guess if you can train a dog with treats, you can train a person the same way.



1/ A mugger zooms in front of Mindy and company, running from left to right of the panel. The mugger is actually one of the White hipster boys from earlier, but you can’t tell because of how fast he’s running and also because he’s so close to our POV that we only see him from the neck down. Mindy and company are all a bit startled.

MINDY (caption)
Of course, treats never taste as good as fresh blood...
...to a dog, I mean.

2/ Mindy and team look to our left (their right), towards the voice of the robbery victim.

WOMAN (off pnl)
Stop him! He stole my phone!

3/ Marcus and Mindy make eye-contact. Marcus has “NO” written all over his face. Mindy’s lips tighten.

MINDY (caption)
Who am I kidding?

4/ Marcus dashes off to chase the mugger. Mom is not surprised, but she holds a protective hand over Mindy’s upper chest.

MINDY (caption)
I’m about as domesticated as a crack addict who just broke out of rehab.



1/ Mindy dashes off to follow Marcus, leaving her mother confused and worried. 

Mindy! Stop!

2/ Mindy tracks Marcus and the mugger to an alleyway. The mugger has a knife and he’s swinging frantically at Marcus. He’s an inexperienced 20-something with boyish looks.

MINDY (caption)
Three seconds.
It’s all I’d need to smash fuckboy’s face in.

3/ Marcus yells at Mindy to stay back, acting like he has the situation under control. Mindy is staring blankly, but shaking. The ice pop in her hand is melting. The yellow gumball that’s meant to be Hello Kitty’s nose is askew with all the melting.

Mindy, go back to your mother!

MINDY (caption)
It looks like Marcus has been at it for about 15.
If my leash was off, fuckboy would have been in a coma by now.

4/ Mindy yells as she rushes the mugger, pointing her ice pop at him like a sword.

MINDY (caption)
That, or dead.


5/ She jams the popsicle stick through the mugger’s eye. There’s ice cream, eye goop and blood everywhere. Marcus cries out in horror.

MINDY (caption)
With all the training Daddy gave me, tearing up cunts like this is innate.
go from zero to sixty without thinking.



1/ Similar shot to page 3, panel 3: Mindy is still shaking and staring blankly, but she’s holding her ice pop differently. She’s gripping the Hello Kitty head in her fist. Ice cream is dripping onto the ground. It’s a subtle detail that only careful readers will catch. Marcus is kicking the knife out of the mugger’s hand. Mindy’s mother has also caught up.

MINDY (caption)
Or, at least, I used to.

Omigosh, Mindy! Get back!

2/ Marcus gets the guy in a strong hold and lifts up his t-shirt. In his belt loop is a pair of handcuffs.

You’re under arrest.

MINDY (caption)
Now, I force myself to watch.

3/ Marcus cuffs the mugger, who doesn’t really resist, but cries a little as he begs for mercy.

Please, don’t arrest me! I’ll return the phone! Just don’t send me to jail! I needed the money! My parents just cut me off, please!!

MINDY (caption)
Daddy might have given me killer instinct, but he also gave me discipline.

4/ The robbery vic has caught up to Marcus, Mindy, Mom, and mugger. She’s a hefty, middle-aged Black woman who is a little out of breath. She’s fuming. Mom has bent down to look at Mindy, trying to make sure she’s ok. A wide-eyed Mindy is starting to snap out of her trance.

Don’t you dare let him go! That cracker-ass shithead is a thief!

Mindy, are you alright? Mindy?


MINDY (caption)
So what’s my secret? My regimen, if you will?

5/ Closeup of Mindy’s hand crushing the Hello Kitty ice pop. The pink bow is mangled and the gum ball nose is about to fall.

I’m fine, Mom. Just worried about Marcus is all.

MINDY (caption)
Well, sometimes I treat myself to a fantasy or two.